De profecías y patriotismo

9:22 p. m.

( 3 ) Comments

Solo un comentario preliminar, la gente no deja de sorprenderme, me explico, leo en un mail que recibí la semana pasada:

"Cuando el sexto mes de 2006 finalice,
el Rey de España cruzará los Pirineos con su ejército.
Las legiones de Belcebú aguardarán la batalla
en las planicies del centro de Europa.
La destrucción y la derrota caerá sobre los malvados.
El Santo Grial volverá, con el Rey triunfante, a España"
-Nostradamus

Cuando la gente empieza a relacionar a Nostradamus con la seleccion española, o fúria roja, o como más os guste llamarles yo empiezo a acojonarme...

Según el mail que recibí la interpretacion estaba clara:

"D. Juan Carlos irá a ver los partidos de la Selección Española al mundial de Alemania y volverá con la copa del mundo!"

Yo es que cuando oigo hablar del Rey de España y su ejército ya me pongo a temblar... con esto del mundial y tanto patriotismo nacional, fúria española, marea roja, opá nos vamos pal mundiá y a por ellos oé... cualquier dia les da un venazo a esta gente e invaden Catalunya!

Por suerte el peligro ha acabado... c'est finí! Ahora podemos dedicarnos a ver buen fútbol sin más, sin tanta machacona en la televisión, radio, diarios, internet... daba la impresión de que se trataba de algún tipo de maniobra de lavado de cerebro colectivo o algo así, yo personalmente, veré los partidos con las mismas ganas....

Por cierto, he leido que La Sexta emitirá los partidos del Barça... ¿eso significa que Andrés Montes será el comentarista? ¡Espero que si! Aunque mucha gente lo odio quiero romper una lanza a su favor, a mi su manera de retransmitir me divierte, aunque el partido sea un tostón con Montes te quedas a verlo, cosa que no haria con otros comentaristas...

Catalonia is different

1:33 a. m.

( 5 ) Comments

Ok... so I live in a weird country... If you've never been here then you won't understand me, but if you live in catalunya you'll just think politicians are completely nuts!

Let me explain... I'm talking obviusly about the Estatut... so first of all let me introduce you our friend:

Once upon a time, (in 1932) in a place called Catalunya, they had a really nice Estatut, and they loved him. But, you know, they had a Civil war in Catalunya, and the guys who won it didn't like democratic things so they decided to kill the poor Estatut... fortunately, when democracy came back to Spain (and Catalonia), catalans gave birth (somehow) to a brand new Estatut:

It was born in 1979, and he was a nice guy, he defined the catalan institutions, their competences, their relationships with Spain, and also the financing for the catalan goverment, the Generalitat.

Everyone was fine with our friend Estatut, till the summer of 2005, when the catalan government decided he was old and crappy, and that he needed some plastic surrgery to make him look better... but you know, when you try to fix something that already works is when the problems begin...

So when all the politicians decided to change him, they wrote a new model of Estatut, according to our ages, more fashionable, you know. And they introduced the "new" Estatut to the daddy, the spanish government.

And daddy didnt like him... he said "it was fine if you wanted a new style for he estatut, but that now he was too modern..." so daddy started taking away from the Estatut everything that he didnt like.

Finally the poor estatut was all messed up... thay tried to do him a lifting, change his clothes, his haircut, and then they tried to undo that, to replace what he was wearing over and over again, and he had an identity crisis, he wasnt who he was supposed to be anymore! (They had to bring him to the psychologist) But daddy said that THEN it was fine, so catalan people had to say whether they liked the new estatut, or prefered the 1979 one...

But after a year watching politicians fight, trying to fix the poor Estatut, catalan people didnt care anymore, they were sick about him, so decided not to vote... and only half of the catalans voted... (actually 49'41%) and they voted for the new Estatut, though.

THE END

And what do I wanna tell you with this story? Well, I'ts clear... after talking about the freakin' Estatut EVERY DAY during a year, now that we can decide if we want it or not, now we don't go voting!! thats really sad... I guess people like talking about politics, but not being part of them! Anyway, I guess that's normal in catalonia, because like I said... Catalonia is different!

El maleït carnet

9:47 p. m.

( 3 ) Comments

Atenció! perill!! ja arriba, i aquest cop ha vingut per quedar-se... es tracta del nou carnet per punts, que entra en vigor el mes que ve, aixis que ja ens podem anar preparant... o no.

I es que em sembla que tot plegat serà una conya semblant a la llei antitabac. Quan hiavia de començar estavem tos acollonits, i deiem "ui, ja veuràs tu, amb la llei aquesta no es podrà fumar enlloc" I ara ja veieu, es pot fumar a tot arreu... es clar que potser s'hi ha guanyat una mica amb la llei, pro no ha arribat ni molt menys al que s'esperava, o almenys al que m'esperava jo, ni crec que s'hi arribi quan s'apliqui al 100%.

I el carnet per punts crec que va pel mateix camí. Ara estem tots molt preocupats. "Amb el carnet per punts, en quatre dies ens el retiraràn a tots!" diuen alguns... pro jo crec que passarà com sempre, potser la gent anirà amb cura el primer mes, i després tothom es passarà la llei pel forro. És a dir, circulant a 180 per l'autopista i frenant uns metres abans del radar.

No se si ho sabeu, pro la retirada dels punts no serà inmediata, al moment de la infracció, sino que s'haurà d'esperar a que hi hagi una espècie de sentencia ferma contra el conductor... bé, no en se molt del tema, pro em dona la impressió de que els infractors habituals aniràn acumulant punts, pro seguiràn conduint com sempre, recorrent les multes i "passant" de pagar-les, tal i com fan ara. I es que sabent com funciona la burocràcia, et saltaràs un STOP i et treuràn els punts al cap de 2 anys.

Llavors, per a què servirà el carnet per punts? Doncs està clar, per treure els cuartos als pringats de sempre... als infractors ocasionals... els mateixos que pringuen actualment pagant les multes, ara, a més a mes, hauràn d'afluxar la pasta en els cursets de renovació, a més a més de pagar la multa, es clar...

I, com sempre que intentem buscar l'origen d'alguna cosa en aquest humil blog, hem arribat al tema de la pasta, les peles... que vist el panorama, sebla ser el motor que mou tot el que ens envolta.

El Mundial... de los borrachos!!

7:01 p. m.

( 2 ) Comments

Cada vez que leo el diario me encuentro con sorpresas, y es que la actualidad últimamente desborda... ahora me he encontrado con esto en el Diario ADN:

"
Una marca de cerveza austriaca pide a los consumidores que devuelvan los envases ante el aumento de consumo por el Mundial.
Una cervecera austríaca hizo este viernes un llamamiento desesperado a sus clientes para que devuelvan urgentemente sus botellas de cerveza, debido a la escasez que tiene antes de que comience el Mundial 2006 de fútbol de Alemania
."

Bien, se ve que los austíacos están emocionados con el mundial (y eso que no tienen la cancion del opá) y se han pulido todas los botellines de medio litro del país antes de que ni siquiera empiece... esto puede ser por varios motivos:
  • En Austria hay poca cerveza
  • Los camiones que transportan la cerveza han tenido muchos accidentes (y se han roto los botellines)
  • Con la coña del mundial los Austríacos se estan poniendo ciegos a birra.
Bueno, creo que podemos descartar las dos primeras y quedarnos con la tercera... y direis "bueno, no es tan malo, se reunen para animar a su equipo y se toman unas birrillas con los amigos". Aha, claro, el unico problema es que Austria ¡no esta clasificada para el mundial!

Y ahora os preguntareis: "¿ahora éste porque está tan preocupado por los austríacos alcoholizados?" y la respuesta es... ¿Cómo podemos permitir que haya otro pais más borracho que el nuestro?... tanto macrobotellón y tanta puñeta para luego quedar en ridículo, como siempre.

Los Austríacos se han pulido 2.000.000 de litros de birra antes del mundial, ¡¡y aquí no ha habido ni un triste comunicado de la San Miguel!! habrá que espavilar a batir el récord antes de que eliminen a España, o sinó ya no habrá posibilidades... aunque, bien pensado, siempre nos quedaran los hooligans de Lloret y los alemanes de Mallorca...

Damien's curse

4:09 p. m.

( 1 ) Comments

The end is near. I know you think you're safe because you survived to he 06-06-06 day (some people predicted that this day the world would end) but you dont know one thing that happened during the "devil day"... I read in the ADN newspaper (translation for the non-spanish speakers):

"A british woman gives bitrh to a baby at 6 hours of the 6/6/2006 and calls him Damien.
The mother, a fan of horror movies, is really happy with the boy, that was 6lbs and 6 ounces of weight"

Wow... that's incredible! Damien is back! I bet no one will bother the kid at school... now he's a cute baby, but imagine when Damien is 6 or 7 years old... wearing a black jacket and a black cap... he won't be so cute! he'll be scary!

If I was Damien I would take advantage of that, I would be a weird solitary guy, just to scare people staring at them, and make them give me what I want! I would do that at school with other kids and teachers, I'd make them give me their breakfast or give me good marks, and further on my life with my boss. I would work in an office, sit in my chair, and scare anyone who tried to approach me so I wouldn't have to do anything.

Well, but that's me, I always get the bad side of things... you're lucky I don't have super powers or I would be a supervillian and rule the world! I'm sure Damien will be a cute little boy and he won't harm anyone... or maybe I'm wrong?

I'd just be cautious and don't approach any suspicious kid...

PS: Two days wothout complaining... I should start thinking about something that pisses me off...

Déu és català

1:25 a. m.

( 2 ) Comments

Si, pot semblar una mica extremista per a uns, una tonteria per a d'altres, o una confirmació d'un fet consedirat com a evident per a molts... i es que Déu nostro Senyor és català...

I us preguntareu... com he arribat a aquesta conclusió? Bé, no es tracta d'una afirmacio gratuïta, sino d'una deducció ben simple... Primer de tot hem d'anar a la font d'aquesta deducció, les bases, i en aquest cas es tracta del Papa de Roma...

Bé en Benet XVI és el representant de Déu a la terra, una espècie de realcions públiques diví... doncs avui, a la plaça de Sant Pere, al Vaticà, s'ha dirigit als seus fidels en català (un català bastant correcte, que ja voldrien molts per a ells). I ens hem de preguntar: per què ha parlat en català?? doncs està clar, perque li ha dit el "jefe"!! I qui és el "jefe"??... aha! veig que ja ho heu pillat!

Jo crec que d'aquesta manera ens ha volgut picar l'ullet, fer-nos complices del secret, de que Déu es català... bé, o si mes no, del Barça, cosa més que evident, sino com us expliqueu lo d'aquesta temporada? els cul·lers no estem acostumats a tantes alegries, és fàcil buscar-hi explicacions sobrenaturals, i bé... aqui la teniu la explicació!

Doncs fins aquí la meva demostració (evidentment irónica) de que Déu és català... algun altre dia us explicaré com vam inventar el chupa-chups, la fregona, i com vam descobrir amèrica, pro ho faré en anglès per a que s'enterin els guiris de que ells també son un "invent" català, sino encara estarien caçant buffalos!

PD: Hey! avui no em queixo de res! ja podeu estar contents...

Beach or mountain?

4:44 p. m.

( 1 ) Comments

Well that's the question that millions of people are asking to themselves right now. Summer holidays are approaching and you have to decide where do you want to go, where do you want to spend the money you've been earning during the year.

Some years ago, when I was a kid, the only option was going to the beach... well you can call it beach, but actually, it was a huge extension of people, lying on their towels, placed on the floor one next to the other like in a tetris game, where you had to find a free spot, "conquer" it with your umbrella, and spend the day there, because moving could mean loosing your spot.

Well, now there are other options, the "mountain" ones, that consist on going to some quiet little town ad rent a house there... the problem is that the quiet little town, that has a 100 people population during the year, during august has a 1000 people population, and its crowded with tourists like you... so the quietness is over!!

And by saying that I'm saying that the question "beach or mountain?" It's not a big deal, it will be crowded anyway, so once you've decided to be a tourist you have to assume that and not worry about it. Being a tourist means:
  • Be constantly surrounded by a crowd of tourists like you.

  • Sleep in noisy places. That means, getting no sleep.

  • Wait incredibly long lines to visit any museum.

  • Pay 5€ to drink a coke in some cafe near the center of somewhere. Than means, beaing cheated because you're a tourist.

  • Take pictures of EVERYTHING. (See addiction to digital cameras)

  • Wear a mexican sombrero if you come to barcelona.

  • And, of course, wear socks and flip flops (specially if you're german).
So if you wanna go somewhere this holidays, you have to be disposed to that, otherwise, if you're looking for relax and quietness, just stay in your city, nobody will be there.